benturner.com is proud to present its newest recording artist, Macky Mac, the phattest most lowdown Estonian hiphop G bling bling you ain't nevah seen before. Some lyrical sampling of this hard rhymin' street shit:
Shot Callin' Muh Sheep Biznitches
Unh...unh...where muh sheep at? I said, where the fuck are muh sheep at?! Wake up in Tallinn, anotha fuckin' rainy day, We 'bout to raise up whether it be December or May I gots da sheep to tend, and muh skrill to make And to all muh sheep biznitches, here's what I got ta say: You ain't muh baby momma And you got no boot knockin' 'bilities, But I shave you down, like I know you like And make my imitation wool Fubu, Hilfiger, Nik -- Eeeeeeez, if you please And if I'm starvin', your milk churned ta chee -- Zeeeey, facheezie on the reezie Uh hunh, I'm shot callin' muh sheep biznitches An' yo, I still get paid Muh sheep know muh name Maccy Mac from Saaremaa to Idavirumaa Das west coast to east coast fo' you igno'-American sonabitches Muh sheep line up just to hear me speak, And they don't be playin' me for no ho-slut choosin' fee Cause dey know who keeps it da realest It's da Estonian nigga from Tallinn, Da sheep-herdin' hiphop gangsta rhymist An' what more, dey know I protect muh flock Cause they muh own peoples an' I gots da big cock An' I don't put up wit no weakass niggaz Puttin' up that bling bling barbwire shit wit six figgaz Muh shizzeep to me bizzeep whenever a fence dey wanna lizzeap An' I be right dere in my Lada premiere It ain't too fast but it get me there... In fo-ty minutes, or wheneva da blizzard clears So next time yo honkey ass show up in Estonia, An' you see a flock grazin' on da native flora, Be realizin' dat shit belong to me, Macky Mac, notorious B.I.G, An' get yo ass outta town befo I load muh deucey-deucey And to all muh sheep biznitches, tanan! I don't want yo cootch like dem filty Norgies, I just need yo wool an' milk an' love So I can fuck muh hoez widout chill or cold When the temp-rature hits da minus fiddies.
Fist Fulla Krooni
I'm a no-limit soldjaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yup yup yup, wooord, it's fuckin' Saturday, An' you know what time it iz It be time to take muh fruit an' dairy shit to da market Time to throw my dogs on ya Time to ball dat produce shit outta control When those fakas see me comin' Pullin' up in muh jacked up Smart Car shit, Restin' they fat azzes on they hoopdies, They run fo' covah cause they know they got da fear I open the door and da bitches run up, Eager to get a slice of the Macky Mac in full fuckin' farmin' action Muh goat posse rushes out da door of muh ride, An' inflict they pain by eatin' those lameass niggaz' grub I'm ready, ready to make da bones, Line dat shit up and knock it all down, Muh Estonian homies buy it up like Donald Trump on muh phone, I gots da krooni pourin' outta muh bearfur coat, Krooni outta every orifice Krooni in muh fineass bitches' thongs Krooni in muh buzzcut hair Lambskin, lutes, carrots, an' bootlegs of Baha Men, I sell you suckaz Ace of Base, bellbottoms, flatbread, an' do it again, An' you know? I sell it all like Dr. Dre's first album I come and go fasta than a hot chica's orgazzzzzz "Uhhhmmm, Macky Mac, what you say?" You heard, I go back home I light da lanterns in muh clay cave wit hundred dolla bills I put caviar on muh bitchez' poonani and take a mouthfull I turn on da bigscreen 15" TV an' roam all 15 channels...premium cable, foo' I been rollin' in dough since ninety-four, Not long after those hooridin' Soviets gone run home to momma poor I sleep on a bed of cash money and wipe muh azz wit a fist fulla krooni It all da same to me Anotha day of farmin' an' I make another five hundred eighty I own muh hood, an' no one mess wit me Cause I'm a no-limit soldja an' no one messes wit da money The world hain't yet heard, But soon they will That Macky Mac am da new bigass pimp on da block An' I'm turnin' this chump planet into muh lair, where tha tigresses be lured An' when it's all fuckin' said an' done You all gonna be buyin' taters from me Cause all I gonna do is turn yo crib into a field An' farm it till you do yoself in wit a gun. I gots da fistful of krooni, I gots da fistful of krooni I gots da fistful of krooni, I gots a fistful of you.
In There Like Swimwear (Estonian in Georgia hillbilly remix)
Hey yo fuck that! I ain't no American I ain't no cash money gangsta, I ain't even black But I'm tired of yo shit Droppin' bombs from yo' rankass Roland drum kit Some punkass mothafucka from Geo-gia Wit on da wall a Confed-rate flag, I thought I told-jia I'm Macky Mac Fuck all o' you all O' y'all (as you say) Yo hillbilly bumpkin azz don't mean shit When I bust into yo redneck town A stowaway in da wheel bay of an Estonian passenger jet Muh white cracker ass breaks into yo Suthun skewl An' I be breakin' all da rulez Takin' all yo' bitches wit muh goatfarmin' charmin' Leavin' you at 3AM on da phone wit skanky azz hoodrats booty callin' You bitch an' complain 'bout da projects, Yo brothas get gunned down every day, Sellin' dank to da pigs an' to da crips, But you ain't seen shit till you seen da Estonian hood, Drive-by gangsta Lada bangin' da clay huts Droppin' muh west coast soldjas an' muh east coast goat niggaz An' leavin' da blood of muh family's farm chicken Streaked across the dirt road like a ho on da rag But wai-wai-wait it gets worse, I show up first day at tryouts on da basketball courts, An' cross yo' ass so bad it turn yo shorts inna skirts An' I spin yo ass left, fade right, Drain dat 3 point shit day and night, An' when dat ball comes off da rim, Muh six footy six lanky white skillz Take da rock and put it back up again Two-fisted, ya heard, like Shaq on da attack Ball bouncin' through da rim an' off yo' dumbass head Shit yo, I been here three dizzays An' I be speakin' better English dan you To suave yo momma innoo a good lizzay It ain't my fault, Dumbass bitch, I gots dat European educational assault up in dat shit We learn yo' tongue, We come to yo' land, We fuck yo' bitches and then we go back home a man An' why? Cause we in there, in there like swimwear, From Geo-gia to New York City, We rutti poo yo skewls an' work fo' six dolla fiddy An' you can't do shit to stop us, Cause we da Great White Hope, We wear wool hats an' our rhymes be dope So step aside wit yo Bubba Sparxxx bammer shit, An' give ups to the new boys in town Muh posse from Estonie, Led by the mighty Macky Mac, Da billyest goat-bearded billykid of them all, Da fattest most illest international emcee.