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"Foreign Chicks"

What can I say? I'm completely enchanted by foreign chicks. European girls in particular; Swedish, British, French, Italians, but also Australians. Heck, it's all good.

Strangely enough, I'm not into Asians very much, which I suppose is somewhat surprising given that I'm part Asian myself. A lot of people I run into DO dig Asian girls though, and it's almost always because they get off on the typical Asian girl personality. They said it, not me.

So what's the deal? I've met or listened to girls from all over the world, and for some reason, they're just more hypnotic and adorable if they're from somewhere else. Biologically speaking, there's probably a good reason for this. What's foreign to us is also the most provoking to us, and in many cases we either fear it (racism, homophobia, etc.) or we're extremely curious about it (my situation). And whenever I'm doing something and I hear some girl speak in a foreign accent, my full attention is hers.

Maybe it's just that, having been around American girls most of my life, you get more used to them and they're not so immediately differentiated from the rest as foreign girls with accents and different styles are. Maybe it's what a lot of guys I know complain about, which is that American chicks don't care about what they wear so much. Guys at college used to complain about girls wearing sweatpants and raggy t-shirts too much at school.

Of course it's blatantly chauvenistic. But don't tell me both sexes don't talk in those terms. They just don't publish that shit online or talk about it in public. Only idiots would do that.

A guy's jaw drops when he goes to places like Stockholm or Rome. Stunning women everywhere. Everywhere. And they don't necessarily have to be wearing tight clothes and be all dressed up, even though most are. Heck, even the ones who were normally dressed looked gorgeous. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the water. Rome in particularly was just beyond belief. Women everywhere, and all tanned and looking good.

And the accents. Who can resist the Australian accent? Or a Brit chick speaking away? (although some more distinctive accents can be annoying) Or the gentle, smooth French accent? Or the confident Italian? I just can't help myself but listen. And all through school we had exchange students in our classes who would come from all these sorts of countries. And everyone was just completely spellbound by them. Surely it's the same for Americans in other countries. But wow.

And that's just on the surface. Another quality I enjoy about foreign women is that they grow up in different cultures and they have a completely different set of values than the one I'm used to here. Their political stances are usually different, and I enjoy that. They have different sensibilities about relationships and sex. Americans are so repressed when it comes to sex that it's not even funny. It's okay to be reserved, but the American sentiment is more of complete immaturity and unfamiliarity with the subject. And most importantly, a complete lack of openness. It's no wonder our kids grow up fucked up and with no responsibility. They can't talk about a lot of shit openly. They have to keep it quiet and among their friends, or maybe sneak a viewing of Loveline on MTV or porno mags. A lot of other countries seem to be far more open about relationships and even encourage experimentation and responsibility so that kids are fully knowledgeable and not ashamed, by the time they get old enough for serious encounters.

I really hate to say it, but foreign chicks really do have more style than American chicks. They know how to dress. I certainly wouldn't mind being proven wrong on this, of course... In Rome, all the girls (and guys, for that matter) seemed to be in great shape with tanned skin and tight clothing. Fitting for the climate and culture, I suppose, but it made opening one's eyes more pleasant. I think American girls are finally catching up...they're wearing flare pants and tighter clothes and going more natural... But they must be years behind. Seriously.

Comments like these get you torn up. But rest assured, I have even less respect for American guys (including myself). American guys are probably the laziest dressers of all and also disgusting and slobbish. They wear shitty clothes and have no taste. Guys like to wear khakis or cargo shorts and a SURF NAKED! tee. Shit like that. They'll burp and fart and talk about huge shits and slap their girls on the ass and tell them they need to lose weight and shit like that. Totally crass and mean. Guys "respect" their girls in private because they 1) either don't want to put up with the guilt trip afterwards or 2) they want sex. But with other guys, they usually treat their women like shit, or like children. I include myself because I've never really gotten big into clothing and fashion and all that. So don't think this is a one-sided affair. And certainly don't be deluded into thinking I'm the only one who feels this way, or that it's wrong to have these opinions. Because I'm not, and it isn't.

Nevertheless, people will bitch. And all I have to say is that I know what turns me on most. I'm actually quite generous when it comes to women. All it takes is that one little charming thing unique to every woman to hook you in. Some guys are extremely picky and selective...and even then, they mistreat their women. This is a cardinal sin! And I don't care what race a girl is, I don't care how much money her family has, I don't even care what accent she does or doesn't have. I'm not into superthin girls like many guys are (but claim they're not) but I do think they should be in good shape. I like short or long hair, but probably prefer longer hair. Have you seen that Pantene commercial with Portia De Rossi in it? Hot damn!

I don't care about breast size or hip size or all the stuff men get picky about (and women even more picky about).

I do care about intelligence. I can't stand dumb girls. Some guys say it doesn't matter if they're hot, but I believe intelligence makes for the sexiest women. As long as they are a formidable challenge for you, it'll be ultra sexy. Being with someone who's not on the same level as you, either way, doesn't work very well. But I love chicks who have personality and intelligence. They have to have their own identity. But not enough identity that they give you that bullshit that guys have gotten so used to: "I want to be my own person, I don't want to rely on anyone, I don't want to be married because I'll lose myself," etc. Come on. If you get married or in a relationship, it's not losing your identity. It's just sharing yourself with someone else. Losing your identity in a relationship is called codependence. And that's an abnormal, unhealthy thing.

I'm all about smart chicks. It's probably the most important thing to me. And I'm not talking about book smarts so much as cunning, cleverness, confidence (ever been around people who apologize for "being stupid" all the time?), etc. That's the major turn-on. Looks only take you so far.

I also prefer women who aren't just surrounded with guys all the time. I like girls who keep to themselves most of the time, or at least hang out with mainly other girlfriends. They're like hidden treasures. Isn't it weird with women who keep a lot of guys around all the time? I HATE competition for women. I just won't compete at all. I won't play that game. Why do I always have to win over someone? Why can't they just be enchanted about me like I am them? Why is it always a fucking struggle?

If you ask me, a guy who hangs around a girl is after one thing, sex. Unless he's gay. Or a truly good friend. But even truly good guy friends to a girl are usually interested in sex. It's just the nature of the man. As some guys joked with me, when a girl tells you she thinks you're her best friend, what she's really saying is, "we're friends now so I'm gonna dress and undress in front of you all the time, but nuh uh, stay ten feet away!" That is, girls don't know what they can do to a guy when their intentions are completely innocent.

Of course a woman should be treated like a goddess by her man, so he should take her on nice vacations, spend romantic evenings with her, plan surprises, be open and honest with her. But a woman should also do the same to her man. Guys love surprises too, and they love it when women take initiative. If you're like me, you're tired of having to do all the initiative work. Especially in courtship. I've said it ten billion times already, but chicks need to go after guys more!

This is an atypical Soapbox and at 2AM I'm wondering why I'm writing this. Obviously this is too much information and probably I shouldn't be sharing it with the people who read this. God knows my parents will think all sorts of shit about this. And angry people will e-mail. And friends will ask, "why the fuck did you say that?" and Americans will be offended and others will say, "foreign chicks aren't all they're cracked up to be." And others will just think I'm a sexist. Or a pervert. Or stupid. Of all my Soapboxes, people seem to react most to discussions of the sexes or sex itself.

So before you spin off a blustery e-mail, fuck off. I don't care what you think. I know what I like and I know what kinds of girls stick in my mind. Most of what you hear is just what's safe to say, without getting people irritated or offended. And I'm sorry, that's not how the real world works. People require that little spark that gets them going for the other person, and it can come in all shapes and forms. But some weird combination of different things is going to produce the chemistry needed to entice someone. By no means is anyone perfect in every way, but the sum of all parts can be. I hate when people get self-conscious about one thing about themselves, or about someone else. Gotta look at the whole picture.

So that's about all there is to say for right now on the matter. The truth is that I love women, and I love talking to and spending time with them. I love watching them and noting all their cute little quirks and charming, graceful movements. Women can be the definition of beauty at times. Problem is, of course, that women don't love me, they don't love talking to and spending time with me. At least not in that way. It is a one-sided affair, and one which is equivalent to seeing an orchestra but not being able to hear it play.

I suppose the only thing I can really say is "fuck everyone", which appears to be the title of the next Soapbox I'm to write.

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