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"Letting Them Play Instead of Letting Them Bitch"

Dozens of articles in every daily newspaper. Top stories clogging the news shows. Protests at the capitals of each state. International disagreement and rising hostility. Superficial arguments all over, on the common man's opinion of how to react, even though he'd previously been cleaning the dust off his hula shaker doll collection in his RV.

Isn't it sad that Saddam can generate this much discussion?

Okay, so maybe the United States shouldn't strike Iraq in order to force it to change its mind. Maybe Iraq shouldn't be punished militarily for disobeying UN (United Nations) ultimatums and requests for cooperation, even if Iraq refuses to help and delays while it does God knows what. Maybe the U.S. is just a big international bully that has gone far past what it is morally allowed to. Maybe the U.S. just wants to get oil out of the ground for its own interests. Or maybe the U.S. doesn't want any country to deface its reputation for domination.

All you anti-war people are right -- military action should never be taken. There's always a way through diplomacy. Let's just talk it out and things will be alright. Hey, listen, I feel your pain... Violence isn't the answer. Let's not be hypocrites by stomping out violence with violence.

I hear the German blitzkrieg rumbling through Poland, don't you? Or is that the Romans annexing islands in the Mediterranean while Carthage was negotiating its own problems? Or is it just politics as a whole?

Fine. Who cares why the U.S. is being so harsh on Iraq? Who cares? If there is so much dissention between members of the United Nations, and even among the U.S.'s own citizens, and if Iraq wins either way, whether the U.S. attacks or not, why don't we just do the world a favor and back off from Iraq?

I'm so sick of this. Hussein is busy scoring points with all the people who buy his little story that he's being singled out and bullied by the last superpower. Even anti-war people are falling into his little trap. So what if he doesn't care if his own people are dying? So what if he's only out to screw over the U.S. and save his career as dictator? It doesn't seem to faze some people. The one attacking is always the bad guy, right?

When will it end? Does the U.S. have a good way out of this mess? Yes. I was walking from class today and there was an anti-war demonstration on the west mall at the University of Texas at Austin. If you're not familiar, the west mall is the same place where the religious nuts spout their hate at people they label as homosexuals, drug-users, and nymphomaniacs. Just people who walk by! Jesus would be proud. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that the west mall is where the nuts gather for the squirrels.

So the big thing with the anti-war people is that war is not necessary and that things can still be talked out. I suppose there's been significant progress with the agreements between Hussein and the U.N., but come on. The Iraqi media reportedly claimed a victory by Iraq with the U.N. 'backing down' and agreeing to a settlement. Hussein was superimposed on a blue background with Christmas holiday lights blinking around him. Granted, those image effects win you Cool Site of the Day these days, but any 6-year-old can open Paint Shop Pro and whip that slop up. Do you really thinking that the Iraqi media (and presumably the government) is looking to end a conflict? Seems like they're trying to goad the world to annihilate them.

And, please...please...it's not a war. Wars usually infer that both sides have significantly sized forces which battle against each other. This is more like a tactical strike aimed at forcing Hussein to back down and let the U.N. inspectors move in.

But Hussein's not going to give in. As far as I can tell, if he hasn't let U.N. inspectors in by now, he's never going to unless he hides the nukes in time. Should the world support this sort of lack of cooperation in a world which finds strength in international agreement and union? How did Iraq ever get in the position where people refuse to take it seriously, even though it's disobeying international orders?

The U.S. and U.N. have been too wishy-washy with Iraq. Sure, the U.S. came in once, but they didn't uproot Hussein and send him to jail (for political prisoners, it's probably more like a Radisson). They mounted expensive cameras onto "smart" bombs so they could blow them up for CNN. They made the military go sweat in the desert in what are now trendy khakis. The U.S. has to be more direct with its actions. If it decides that something is a problem, it should go 100% towards eradicating that problem with the best means possible, much like the Romans did. If the U.S. is upset with its unemployment numbers, it should go in there and fix it, not throw some money in the general direction and come back to the problem later. If the US doesn't want any countries going against the United Nations, then do something severe to send the message across that situating oneself against the rest of the world is a frigging bad idea. Fix things as soon as possible, before they get worse.

But the U.S. and U.N. have already screwed themselves over by letting Iraq stall them. Iraq won't look as bad after this as it should have. The U.S. is looking bad right now, since some huge countries won't support it in its military strikes. Countries in the Middle East won't assist it in deploying its air force. All sorts of people in the U.S. are warning the government and military not to shed Iraqi (or U.S.) blood.

Okay, so fuck it. The U.S. should just pull out. The U.S. should bring most of its men home, let them go home to their families, and tell the rest of the world to let it know when it's needed. Sure, the U.S. should allow its UN representatives to discuss with other countries' UN representatives, and if the UN decides military action is necessary, then the US should help. But since the US is waging political war on Iraq basically by itself, it should stop. Everyone else thinks they know best, so let's heed their messages. If the Iraqi government does something horrible and drastic, then it can't be the US's fault. Hell, no one wanted the US to be there. The fault would be of those who said Iraq deserves to be left alone. Wouldn't everyone just be happier? The Iraqi government couldn't complain if we left them alone to whatever they do every day. Hell, let them gloat and nag the world about how great they are, about how they're the underdog who humiliated the best of the best. Let them get all high on themselves. See if the world cares.

Anti-war advocates would shut up, leaving them more time to...you know...go to work. The other countries in the world could discuss amongst themselves what they should do with Iraq, or perhaps they could just sit around and wait for someone to take initiative, something they've been able to do for quite awhile now. Drumming fingers, eh boys? The US could begin to concentrate on its own problems, like completing this damn Lewinsky case, or working off the trade deficit, or sealing up the Pentagon from hacker attempts (gawd, guys, let them hack -- they're not malicious for the most part...just egotistic or ambitious or curious).

And what about the people who want the US to go in and leave Iraq a rubble of smoke and dust? Well, I wouldn't give too much attention to their opinion. I'm pretty sure if you asked any of these people what we should do with anyone, their answer will still be, "Let's bomb the shit outta them." Americans just don't care. Americans are more busy hauling a TV into work so they can find out which jury member the expanding and contracting TV talk show host we call Oprah is wrapping around her finger next as she battles the beef barons.

"Branch Davidians?" "Bomb the shit outta them." "Johnny Franklin of Wilbur, Massachusetts?" "Bomb the shit outta him." "Monica Lewinsky?" "She blew the shit outta him!"

We Americans have more important things to worry about. Does Hussein really think we're going to skip Seinfeld to worry about defiance against U.N. regulations? We think the same of Hussein as we do of anyone who gets in the headlines more than three times. The only difference is that he has a country and some ammunition to go with it.

So let's bring our boys back home. And to the rest of the world, call on us when you finally up and decide on something. We'll help you out eventually, earlier, if you screw things up like you did in World War II. Sure, we made mistakes in Vietnam and Korea, among other places, but we'll leave the decision in the hands of the world, and particularly Europe and the former Soviet Union, the least bloody places in the world throughout all history.

And meanwhile, I'll love my woman, study my Juvenal, and design my contracted advertisements, like the arrogant, self-centered, and intrusive American I am.

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