the soapbox -- it won't
die unless I do

1997, the Utilization


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  1. Jan. 5th, 1997 - "Hear ME Roar"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 13]

    I cannot even fathom the concept of a site celebrating either gender anyway. What I am interested in the site of one person -- what one person is thinking, how that person thinks, and, of course, how their traits like gender has affected their development. Perhaps that's why I view gender-specific Internet sites so cautiously -- the Internet was supposed to make real world inhibitions less restrictive, so you didn't have preconceived notions about how a person would be. It was your personality (or at least, the one you were showing) that let other people judge what you were like, not the color of your skin or the presence/absence of a Y chromosome. No one visits my site because I'm part Asian and part British and they are too, or because I'm male. People visit my site because they want to see what I have to say.


  2. Jan. 12th, 1997 - "Wishlist Revisited"
    [RATING: 5 | VOTES: 16]

    Remember, folks, progress IS being made. The Internet is NOT spinning into oblivion. It has not yet even begun to hit its stride. It's just a mere child! Live with it. Or enjoy it and study it intensely, like I am.


  3. Jan. 19th, 1997 - "The Ebonic Plague"
    [RATING: 7 | VOTES: 13]

    Ebonics is the most used out of all the new buzzwords right now. What it is is the standardization and legitimization of Black English (BE) as a language and not a dialect, as it has been categorized as in the past. A school district in Oakland, California wants to make Ebonics the taught language, in place of Standard American English (SAE), as far as I understand.


  4. Jan. 26th, 1997 - "Temporary Unavailability"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 10]

    I have severe artist's block. That is not to say I'm an artist, of course -- I consider myself to merely be a person who has fine technical skills and is good at duplicating what others have done in the past. I'm not original, what I create is not original, and it's a source of stress for me when I TRY to be original.


  5. Feb. 2nd, 1997 - "Clique Here for Identity"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 9]

    But with these closed-in cliques, people must be careful not to lose sight of their principles. It is entirely possible that the best personal site authors will enclose themselves in a group and no longer look for the obscure pages out there. Instead of searching for the unique, hidden college student's page, they look at links on a friend's page, then find that it shares a lot with their page. All the ideas are being tossed around in the same circle and nothing escapes or intrudes.


  6. Feb. 9th, 1997 - "But...But, It's the Sinciple of the Thing..."
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 12]

    My roommate and I know of someone who has quite unusual circumstances in their life, pulling in a near six-digit salary with one of the premiere companies in the country. And that person's approximately the same age as we are! Damn!


  7. Feb. 16th, 1997 - "Out With the Old, In With the New"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 9]

    I embrace the next generation of web sites wholeheartedly. I'm interested in seeing the next wave of web sites (again, particularly the personal ones) and how they'll evolve, based on their feelings about the web sites of MY generation. They'll learn a lot from the crotchety old sites, yet they'll be able to combine multimedia more fluidly into their creations.


  8. Feb. 23rd, 1997 - "Puff the Tobacco Carton, from Dawn Until Three..."
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 15]

    I see no reason why smoking is necessary or even desirable, beyond the occasional puff. I continue to see friends waste their lives on that scourge, but what am I going to say? It's their death. Sure, we all die sometime, but I'm only comfortable with a justifiable death -- not a mindless and easily avoidable one.


  9. Mar. 2nd, 1997 - "The Brain Mapped Into the File Directory"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 14]

    But I suppose what fascinates me about the file directory is that the computer is still treated to some degree as something only technodweebs ever pour their personalities into. Few people think that even the usual computer user is attached to the computer more than he thinks. Some computer fanatics name their computers and get hurt emotionally when their "baby" stops working correctly, but even occasional computer users leave traces of their personality behind. Yeah, we're all geeks. Don't deny your love of the point-and-click-and-tap-the-keys. Live with it.


  10. Mar. 9th, 1997 - "Killers Aren't Born"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 15]

    Anyway, Frank Black at the end of the episode tells his police chief/friend that "killers aren't born." He is referring to the deviant in the episode, who took it upon himself to terrorize families who considered themselves safe because they had fancy security systems and lived in comfortable neighborhoods. He enters inhabited homes during open houses (days set up for prospective buyers to look at the house) and hides until the family is vulnerable. Then he kills them and leaves specific evidence to insult the police, the last line of security. The killer grew up in an environment where there was no parental support or stability.


  11. Mar. 16th, 1997 - "Justification for Procrastination (Sort of)"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 14]

    Would you not find it distracting to get real work done if you were good at something you were currently interested in? What if you weren't good at anything? Say, if you were no good at any sports and you didn't like writing, would you continue to participate in them? (probably not, and if you did, it would be to prove to yourself you could do it)


  12. Mar. 23rd, 1997 - "HTML Bickering"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 15]

    The irony here is that the Fray is maintained by volunteer writers and web designers who get paid nothing, while Salon was a nominee in the Cool Site of the Year awards and has a well-paid staff of halfwits whose jobs real web designers should have.


  13. Mar. 30th, 1997 - "I Spit on Walter Cronkite"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 15]

    Cronkite: ... I haven't spit since I was a small boy. That I know of. And here I'm accused of all this. When I found out I was upset, obviously, when I stumbled on this on the Internet. And others began telling me about it. I was very upset about it.


  14. Apr. 6th, 1997 - "Who's the Victim Here?"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 14]

    It is this power that writers and artists lust after in varying degrees -- they want to captivate the viewer or reader to the point where everyone is unsafe from the art's power. It is relatively easy on the Web -- heck, David Siegel can put lines and circles together and people will stare at it for hours, dumbstruck.


  15. Apr. 13th, 1997 - "WYSINWYG"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 13]

    benturner.com is far from being a site that exposes everything. I'm okay with posting essays completely ripping enemies to shreds, but I've kept love letters out. Just isn't appropriate. I don't describe my family, my friends, my pets, or myself much more than what's on my autobio. Hell, if you saw me everyday in real life, chances are you'd still never get to know me. I don't talk.


  16. Apr. 20th, 1997 - "Indulgence"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 15]

    Will you allow me to enjoy this? Will you let your gifts, talents, and knowledge of cooking atrophy instead of pleasing me with your crafts? Will you deny me that which I have worked so hard to deserve? I do not ask for much -- just a succulent meal. And perhaps if that works out, we can plan for future meals.


  17. Apr. 27th, 1997 - "Strengthened"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 14]

    I was extremely pleased with the intelligence and enthusiasm found in my professors, save for one or two. I wanted to learn about the origins and development of language. I wanted to explore the birth of the Medieval Ages, and not the complete disintegration of the Roman empire, which didn't really happen in the first place. And translating Caesar! Alexander! Thucydides!


  18. May. 4th, 1997 - "Carbon Burn and Putrification of Anything Even Remotely Pragmatic"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 16]

    To most people, words are just little Black and Decker power tools for getting what their pathetic souls want for that exact moment. They do not find it wrong or even degrading to manipulate words to get their fucking cotton candy or corner office. What do they live for? When are they going to get the fuck past themselves?


  19. May. 11th, 1997 - "Honestly, Mom?"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 11]

    Getting back to my mom, it is because of her that I am what I am today. She gave to me so that I would be secure as an adult. She cared, therefore I will care. What she has done has also made me recognize that what I seek out of a companion is someone who has a stable family herself. When I find her, if I haven't already, I will be exceedingly happy.


  20. May. 18th, 1997 - "Getting My Shit Together"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 13]

    What I've done so far has been limited mainly to the mental level, what with learning in school, in work, and in living. I haven't had a chance to apply what I've learned in the real world yet, and I probably won't be able to until I've unattached from school. It's frustrating.


  21. May. 25th, 1997 - "Where Have All the Writers Gone"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 14]

    Today's personal sites are so vapid. That diary is fine and dandy, but no one gets it except for close friends of the author. Reviews of the latest software to hit the market? What is that? I go to c|net for sorts of information like that. Pages and pages of inspiration? Fine, but it seems like it's only inspired you to write about the people who inspired you. Write about yourself for once... Think! Sort out what you feel inside on an HTML document! The site's about you!


  22. Jun. 1st, 1997 - "Happens So Slow One Doesn't Notice"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 13]

    Where does the future of the Soapbox lie? I'm fairly certain of where my path will take me, at least in a general way -- the specifics will only be known when I experience them. But the Soapbox is something of an entity that must be analyzed and considered. It must have a direction to go in, in the future.


  23. Jun. 8th, 1997 - "Adjustment"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 16]

    This period of my life, even if it may get worse sometime, will be profoundly important to my development. I am weeding out the people who aren't really my friends. It's chiseling away the rough edges on a statue that will eventually be near flawless, very well-cut, and polished. Refinement. Adjusting to the situation and thriving in it. If I were not of sound mind, as some so-called "friends" would suggest, I would not be taking this time to improve myself or learn my lessons from the whole ordeal.


  24. Jun. 15th, 1997 - "Gee, Thanks!"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 14]

    Hey, I got reviewed in The Net, an Internet magazine. You'd think I'd be utterly happy, and my site would be clogged with more hits than I'm used to (let's see, the usual 20 visitors times 2...), but read the review first!


  25. Jun. 22nd, 1997 - "Nocturnal Pleasures"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 12]

    And one last thing about the constantly flattered Night is that she shares calm caresses and coaxing clasps with Marvell's amorous birds of prey, so I know for certain that she, in all her warmth, will always be an invited party in my life, and if Anna will have me, in our life.


  26. Jun. 29th, 1997 - "Religion as Entertainment and Other Things"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 17]

    Is monotheism really as interesting to read about as polytheism is? I myself don't think so. If you've read The Iliad or The Aeneid, you'll agree that they're amazing pieces of work which show the many personalities of the gods. What I like about the gods is that they're more realistic and human! Imperfect! Something I'm more likely to believe exists. All the gods were not model human beings. They were impulsive, emotional, stubborn, lecherous, lustful, cruel, and at times, abusive.


  27. Jul. 6th, 1997 - "Vast Distances Defeated"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 14]

    It wasn't all that long ago, although it seems like it was, when I first met Anna. Our relationship is of the online sort, a sort that I wasn't sure beforehand that I would want to get involved with, but I plan to discuss this after my trip, when I know more exactly how love feels and affects an inexperienced mind and body. Anna lives in Sweden and I live in Texas. The distances are staggering, but leave it to the Internet, my current idealization, to allow us to talk endlessly every day.


  28. Jul. 13th, 1997 - "A Happiness Unequaled"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 13]

    I just spent an absolutely perfect week with the woman I need, want, love, lust, respect, and think about constantly. I have never had a better week than the one I enjoyed with Anna in London. I've never felt this way, I've never been this much in love. I've never felt so comfortable.


  29. Jul. 20th, 1997 - "Mass Cramsit"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 12]

    London isn't very kind to strangers. Well, the people are fun and very generous (especially if you're a beautiful couple going out on the town), but the ways of transportation are cryptic and alienating.


  30. Jul. 27th, 1997 - "Sorry I'm Late: A Vituperation"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 15]

    People show up to appointments late. They arrange plans lazily, as if it's not important. They don't get their jobs done on time, no matter how important it is. They're slow when you ask something of them, and you know their pathetic shells of lives are just searching for excuses why they didn't get the one task they were assigned to do done correctly. People (and I refer to them as a collective) hold me back, they hold my friends back, and they hold this world back.


  31. Aug. 3rd, 1997 - "To Some: Cacophonous Entropy"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 12]

    Music is conceived in emotion. We all know it. But some peoples' emotions are flat and bland, like a carbonated drink left to sit out in the 100+ degree Death valley for a week. There's nothing there. Country music? Easy listening? Cheerful dance music? Absolutely nothing in it speaks to me.


  32. Aug. 10th, 1997 - "He, It, They, or Nothing"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 12]

    I've decided that the stoic sort of philosophy is the one best employed to handle this physical separation between Anna and me. We've worked all our lives and have been given a taste of the succulent nectar of love in store for us as long as we keep working hard. We were able to see how we loved each other in real life, and it turned out, in London, that we are indeed perfect for each other.


  33. Aug. 17th, 1997 - "Radio Static"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 14]

    No other station has picked up Howard, so he's off the air. It makes the mornings less satisfying. Can't listen to the show, which ends at 10AM, so you don't have the extra push to get you going in the day. I rarely listen to the radio now, and avoid KEGL if I can. I want to see them plummet. They don't care about their audience.


  34. Aug. 24th, 1997 - "henry"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 10]

    This one is just too good to pass up. I dig this shit. I'm not sure why -- I think it's because if the guy really lives his life this way, then I'm impressed with the inner strength it takes to pull it off.


  35. Aug. 31st, 1997 - "Achieving Perfection"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 13]

    I used to think I'd become an adult with a cold heart, the heart to cast anyone out without regret or remorse. But later, I knew that I had a heart that was ready to love, ready to embrace the wonderful things of this world I had not long ago discovered the importance of.


  36. Sep. 7th, 1997 - "Stress-Related Injury"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 15]

    My well of creativity is severely tapped right now. It's bothering me a bit. Not the sort of stress which keeps you up at night or makes you worry so much you can't do any work without lapsing into frustration. Just the sort where you don't know what you'll feel like doing next, where you have no idea what you're going to write about.


  37. Sep. 14th, 1997 - "Self-Imposed Racism"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 14]

    Graglia has stubbornly held onto his opinion that "blacks and Mexican-Americans are not academically competitive with whites in selective institutions" and that "these cultures do not encourage achievement. Failure is not looked upon with disgrace."


  38. Sep. 21st, 1997 - "You Lust for It and You'll NEVER Get It"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 17]

    Treat women in general like the beautiful creatures they are. Don't bother other people unless they bother you first or if your intentions aren't hostile. Leave everyone alone. Leave more fortunate people alone. Leave me alone.


  39. Sep. 28th, 1997 - "Proposition 7.9.12.17a"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 14]

    In order to modernize conventional 12AM at night to 12PM at noon days, to create a more efficient method of tracking time, and to mollify the mad throngs of over-excited protesting college students, the National Standards Board will put into effect a system which would begin the standard day at 12PM instead of 12AM.


  40. Oct. 5th, 1997 - "Charismatic Icon Animal Man"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 12]

    So what do I like about the Rollins Band so much? Well, at first, I bought "Weight", which was the album released before last ("Come In and Burn"). Listened to it purely from a musical standpoint, as I am wont to do. Some listen for the lyrics, some for the music, and some for both. With me, it takes a drilling into my head to learn the lyrics of a song.


  41. Oct. 12th, 1997 - "A Stroke of Genius (No, Not Mine)"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 9]

    Okay, so I had something all set up to write about this week, but today I downloaded the beta 4 version of HomeSite v.3.0 and I was just so impressed by it that I had to write about it.


  42. Oct. 19th, 1997 - "Immortality: Dammit, People, Don't You Get It?"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 14]

    Let me be mortal, O powers that be, and let me be free of my carnal life when my time comes. I love my family, I love my Anna, I love myself, and I do, actually, love this world, but what makes all of them meaningful to me is knowing that I have shared feelings and affections and opinions with them while I was alive, and that I have lived life to its fullest in the time allotted to me. In order for me to truly live, I must eventually die.


  43. Oct. 26th, 1997 - "Rich Content, My Ass"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 14]

    Spearheaded by Netscape and Microsoft, "rich content" is picking up as an acceptable way to send e-mails on the Internet, and this is really pissing me off.


  44. Nov. 2nd, 1997 - "Being Biracial"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 11]

    There is individuality and uniqueness in being a hybrid, as well. Not many others I've met have had the privilege of enjoying what I have. I'm not sure of my Chinese heritage, but I'm fairly certain I'm a descendant of pirates and royalty on my British side.


  45. Nov. 9th, 1997 - "Boredom Setting In"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 10]

    I sense a deeply disturbing trend in society. Unfortunately, I don't have the knowledge a historian would about how past periods in our history were, but I know something is up, and eventually a catalyst will spark it all off.


  46. Nov. 16th, 1997 - "School Spirit"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 12]

    The university wouldn't be worried about the future worth of its investment if it'd put money into more bandwidth for UT's lagged networks, or into rare Greek lexicons, or into giving the professors bonuses. The benefits for doing that are long-term and secure.


  47. Nov. 23rd, 1997 - "Growing Up"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 13]

    So I've become more and more anxious, more exhausted, and more saddened over the months since I last saw Anna. It started off as a longing, one of the lack of having physical familiarity, tasting just a little bit and wanting more. But Anna and I have become even closer in heart and mind than we did before, in these few short months.


  48. Nov. 30th, 1997 - "Motivation Evaluation"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 15]

    The end of the school semester means Hell. It means staying up all night in order to get enough adequate studying time for the final exam you have the next day. It means the university is strict and will push you away because the semester is almost over and no one wants to bother with anything. It means that Vivarin experiences a boost in sales, as does Starbuck's. It means everyone is more irritable on the street and in the UT newsgroups. Chaos.


  49. Dec. 7th, 1997 - "The Earth Shakes, the World QUAKEs"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 12]

    Quake 2 was released this week and already, most of the regular online players have bought or ordered the game so they could get the first cracks at it. Hell, pirated versions of Quake 2 were being circulated well before the actual game was available in the stores. The competition for the game was fierce.


  50. Dec. 14th, 1997 - "Weightlessness"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 12]

    I see having friends as somewhat of a burden. It may be cold of me to say, but friends require a lot of time if treated properly, and you have to sacrifice a lot, at least in my mind, to keep friendships going. I've always been more burdened than helped by friendships -- for one, I have to keep up with them, no matter how impossible it is to find them. I also have to make sure I spend enough time with them.


  51. Dec. 21st, 1997 - "Damn the Site!"
    [RATING: 6 | VOTES: 12]

    I question running my Soapboxes any longer.


  52. Dec. 28th, 1997 - "Rebellion"
    [RATING: 0 | VOTES: 11]

    If you thought this site was self-indulgent before, I assure you it will get much, much worse. Just like in real-life, what once was a community and a neighborhood of active and volunteering people is now a place where people race to go home and stay in their own houses. The Web is full of it now.


 

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