Okay, I admit it. I watch a lot of television and read the newspaper and listen to the radio and use the Web to look up current events. I am, let's say, a connoisseur of mass media. ;) Someone who's always striving to stay on top of what's new, like myself, is up on the latest and greatest news to spin out of today's periodicals and live digests. The more I know, the less vulnerable I'll find myself, and that's always a good thing when dealing with the cold low blows people throw at you these days.
But recently, everything is getting painful to watch -- as painful as watching the introduction/credits of that strange Night Man show, or as gut-wrenching as reading bland, poorly written, and sensationalist student responses in The Daily Texan. The newspapers are hyping up the games of Call My Bluff Iraq and the US are playing -- "Hah, we just flew a U-2 over your pitiful country and you did nothing. Now just why do you hate us so much?" All the rags and shows are shamelessly repeating the phrase "British au pair" just because it sounds so cool and sophisticated (I have never heard "au pair" anywhere until now -- seems like Dan Rather can learn new tricks.). The local news is doing a "7 on Your Side" report on the possible health hazards of free samples at grocery stores. Students at UT Austin are crying racial harassment because of a cartoon which had a man in a sombrero poking fun at a Hispanic man who wrote an overly dramatic letter to the university newspaper. Lea Thompson is doing disgusting commercials for Chevy -- who does the graphic design for those ads?! Ick!
I sense a deeply disturbing trend in society. Unfortunately, I don't have the knowledge a historian would about how past periods in our history were, but I know something is up, and eventually a catalyst will spark it all off.
This goes back to how much people piss me off. Do you realize how many idiots have a say in how I get things done every day? Maybe not personal decisions, but they do little things like stop right in front of me while we're walking, and give me attitudes when I want to buy something, or some other little fixation they exaggerate in their pathetic little lives. People just annoy me. They've been taught to yell "Sue the shit out of him!" as soon as they feel their personal rights have been breached. They don't have the sense to just shut up and perhaps realize that it didn't make any difference.
Few people have any perspective on life anymore. Friends, family, and environment have made people think that every little event is a sign of moral decay, political corruption, or prejudice. The court system is the be-all, end-all of settling disputes nowadays. People feel they're important, when really they aren't. They're just pathetic people who have pathetic problems who, pathetically, don't know how to fix them.
I don't know much about others, but I myself keep to myself and stay quiet. If someone is an ass to me, cutting in line or being selfish with something I want to use, I don't care. I'll usually let them go, just tactfully reminding them how oblivious they are to the world, without their understanding what I just said. I'll let these sad, shallow people lick the meat off their small, depressing victories.
I don't have much respect for most people. I don't think they'll ever amount to anything and they'll always look to folks like me as people who take life too seriously, who overexamine and overanalyze even the most mundane things in this world. People don't care about the world they exist in anymore -- they always look down, to the ground, not seeing what's ahead or behind them. They stare at television sets and at pornography and at photographs of times in their lives when they were actually living life.
You see, too many people have been reduced to daily routines. Sure, this is nothing new -- peasants have been doing it for years! But so many folks do the same things every day: wake up, scratch themselves, take a shower, go to work, act lazy and indifferent all day, come home, throw some macaroni in a pot of boiling water, eat, and then go to sleep after watching E.R. Every day is like that. These people are dead. They don't even understand that what they are seeking in life is to enjoy it, to lust it, to thrive in its warmth. They believe they're confined to their own little worlds and cannot reach out to experience the joys of life.
And they get frustrated because their hopelessness keeps compounding itself over time, the resentment and depression being locked up inside a decaying corpus.
Is it any wonder white trash clamor and scratch at each other to get on daytime talk shows like Jenny Jones so they can tell the lazy housewives who are watching how teenage their teenage daughters dress? Is it a surprise that people are suing for compliments on each other's looks, and countersuing, and suing for threatening to sue but not carrying through with it? Is it a surprise that sex and violence and cults and deviant behavior are becoming more mainstream and less taboo?
No. Not at all. People are starving for attention. People are bored with their lives. Jesus, it's horrible. They want to make themselves feel self-important by doing things like boycotting a frigging children's company like Disney for not supporting Christianity in movies like Pocahontas and The Hunchback of Notre Dame. They dismiss all movies and television shows and magazines as being virtually identical to every other work out there, even if what they're criticizing actually does what it's supposed to do rather well. They even have the gall to turn a possible government coverup in Roswell into a geeky, marketing freakshow.
People, get a frigging life! You're not important. You're just another schmuck who thinks your mission in life was to become the martyr for the women's rights movement or the sole protector of the sanctity of virginity.
People have got to learn how to deal with the greys in life and not categorize into either black or white. There's a fine line between standing up for yourself and your own rights, and just causing hysteria and trouble. There's a difference between trying to make things better and just hassling others so that the situation gets worse. It requires thought. It requires patience and care. Why is it that the people who have none of this are the ones trying to change things? Give us the great motivators and leaders of past times, the people who knew how to argue their stance and only that.
It just seems to me that something is slowly building up in the collective mind of society. There's an eery silence to the world right now, something lurking under that veil of world peace and contentment in the workplace. People are unhappy, and only the weaker ones are letting it show, in their perverse murders and absurd lawsuits. The rest are bottling it up, attributing it to not finding love or some other such ailment. Is there no relief?
I truly do think that most people are running out of things to do. They need to do more and more extreme things to achieve the high they desire so much. Sex and drugs are losing their edge -- it's almost common to expect drug use and sexual experience when meeting people these days. What's next? Homicide? Suicide? Serial crimes? How much further can we go? Science fiction, in which we search the universe, looking for answers, is getting old and stale, discarded more and more as we find out the long-thought impossibilities of the farthest reaches of space. What will writers write about? Writers have written the Hell out of every period in our existence and every period not in our existence. There's nothing left, is there? Hasn't it been covered millions of times before? Where is our well of imagination going to be after our current one dries up from overuse?
To tell you the truth, I don't know. I have no idea what will happen. For most things, they won't make any difference. Forcing a company to change its advertising strategies so children aren't appealed to the product as much won't change a thing. Protesting about diversity in universities won't affect anything in the long run. Mandatory laws do not govern societal laws. I have learned how little people can affect the world through past experiences, myself. Thinking a program which aimed for you in Quake would ruin the whole community was false -- people stopped using it in a week, not because they were forced to, but because people got bored with it. I thought efforts to increase the quality of content and redirection of focus in Web writing would make a difference, but they haven't. We are subject to the pendulum of what's good and what's bad, only being able to watch it swing one way before we die, our children only seeing it swing the other way before they die, and so on.
I know I'm rambling now -- you don't have to tell me. I am just confused as to where our world is going. I would like to think that something will open up to us that will renew our energy and spirit and love for life, but I'm not sure where it will come from. I think of the Chris Carter show, Millennium, when I think about our future -- I think the apocalypse the show predicts is not anything concerning religious prophecy, but a subconscious concern and anxiety about the near future, about how the world seems to be dying rapidly. I wish I knew if other periods felt the same way, or if they were too concerned with war and death to worry about creativity and imagination, the strengths of the human being.
Perhaps someone predicted that the human imagination would fail about the time of the next millennium. Who knows?
I worry about the future of this world, but I don't see any lack of inspiration or energy in myself, just in other people. I myself am loving life and loving to learn and loving to write. I have many channels to express myself and I have a woman who gives me all the happiness and warmth and inspiration that every true human being should be able to experience. Anna is my well of inspiration and I continually find my strength and ability to create in her. Were it that I would be able to be with her in person, to experience the things in life that other couples take for granted, like shopping for lunch together, and walking in the park, and going on picnics, and seeing ballgames and art exhibits, and spending plenty of time with each other, I would be perfectly happy.
I have no problems determining my future -- I just worry about everyone else. They don't even think about it and they won't know what is going to hit them. People don't even stop to smell the rain or think about how the Sun gives life to our planet or how bees and insects and hummingbirds are pollinating the flowers which are giving us allergies. People are only worrying about themselves, and about nothing else.
Something is going to happen. And no one cares.
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