To quench the non-existent attention span of the typical web surfer, I will this week simply release short statements explaining my views on the events of the day. Besides, most of the junk in the news isn't worthy of so much attention.
Cuba, if you're so innocent, why are you being so arrogant, and why haven't you apologized for any of the nonsense that you've caused in the media? (Insert O.J. Simpson for Cuba for the same effect)
It's a good thing Buchanan has no chance at winning the Democratic nomination now. All we need is an isolationist country in the U.S. to screw up the world even more. Now, if only we can stop Dole from bringing his censoring ideas to the White House...
Abdul-Rauf. Just stand up and celebrate your *citizenship*. Media. Get off his back. We, the fans, want to watch basketball. In the words of Dennis Miller, "Abdul-Rauf said that the American flag was a symbol of oppression. He went on to say that he'd play basketball in his own Muslim nation, but it's illegal there."
Chris Dardan released a book? Good to see Mr. Low-Profile isn't capitolizing on the OJ trial. Who cares about his relationship with Marcia Clark?
Netscape, say it ain't so! Signin' deals with AOL and CompuServe? Are you guys ready for NetRape Navigator, a sibling of the AOL Sucks page?
Thumbs down to most college applications this year. Thumbs up to Princeton's application, which had a clever "Potpourri" section, where you had to write down your favorite books, albums, etc. That tells you more about someone than "Describe an experience" does.
Thumbs down to all businesses who take it upon themselves to provide "direct access" to the Internet. Riding the wave of overhypedom, huh?
As blood supplies remain barely adequate and people are worrying about diseases, thank you to all the volunteers who give blood and contribute back to society.
To all the terrorists blowing up cars and killing people across the Atlantic, haven't you realized that using a car bomb is a pretty weak and lame way to get your point across? Detonating a bomb inside a car isn't hard, or respectful. Try using words and reason to settle your problems. Then maybe people won't think you're cowards.
And finally, as it's Saint Patrick's Day, don't pinch too hard if someone isn't wearing green. You could get sued!
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