Stuff You Wish You Had Made

Okay, so maybe you'd want nothing to do with the essays, art, and poems here. But I needed a catchy title to get you this far. Yes yes, I know how you are. Now get a drink, sit your butt down, and see if any of my work manages to hit a nerve with any feelings you've ever had. They're just miscellaneous things which I've chosen to place online -- the ones I didn't choose to place here were either too ghastly or too personal.


a dirty puddle

Have you ever found the courage to just sit down with Society and decide that you two aren't right for each other, that perhaps Society should move out? Did you ever wonder why you loved Society so much in the first place? Did you have doubts about kicking Society out of your house?

Someone has backed your decision to rid it from your life.

Mendax Cavus

I haven't written anything more gory and furious as this (yet), but I must admit it felt good to purge myself of these feelings as I wrote angrily. "I'd hate to get on your bad side!" one person wrote me. I couldn't agree more.

Listen up, folks. Seems some people have taken this essay too seriously. It's a metaphor, that's it! It's testing my limits. It's not illustrating my true feelings. In other words, it's fiction.

Not Unlike Mohammad II's

What will a Latin student do for a good grade on his project? What lengths will he go to? Me? I wrote a poem, another one which fits perfectly into the more embittered stages of my life (are there any other stages?).

Late-Night Talks with Cruelty

Sometimes things hit you so hard that you can't help but feel as if the gods above have struck you down with all their force. And when such divine intervention has taken place, you understand that you need to stop what you're doing and just listen -- you have no chance to explain yourself. Or to do just about anything.


Particular ex-friends really pissed me off. I can't help but feel ambivalent about friends. It's people like these who really ruin any sort of emotional attachment I may have with another person. Enjoy this little personal letter and soak in its anger. It turned out to be a rather cathartic experience for a person I really don't hate as much as I indicated.

The Soapbox

I figured I'd throw in the Soapbox since that's what I spend most of my time writing for these days. It isn't part of this section, but it has over fifty essays to read.

I've been working on the Soapbox as it's mutated from one form to another over the year or so it's been online. I add a new article each week, and I never announce the topic beforehand. You'll just have to come back and read it periodically.

Desktop Background (.jpg, 36.9k)

The themes which come with Microsoft Plus! are pretty pathetic. There aren't many interesting backgrounds to choose from. So I designed one, and I've been using it for quite awhile now. The desktop icons were placed along the vertical and horizontal strips.

What I don't like about it is the "Ben's Realm". It's a bit self-indulgent.

My Current Win95 Wallpaper (.jpg, 68.4k)

I didn't like the old wallpaper because of the big, gaudy "Ben's Realm" on the bottom. It just stuck out. However, I created this one with Photoshop 4.0, getting used to its handling of layers, and I think it turned out well. I'm no graphic designer, and I don't have an eye for creating truly amazing work, but I like what I did this time. Intro? (.jpg, 52.6k)

I don't know what I was thinking when I made this. I guess I was just doodling around with Photoshop or something. Notice some of the graphics? Those were from past page designs.  click here to start at the beginning
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12/03/08 MOOD:  (mood:  yellow)